I go about my busy day running here and there, cleaning this and that, and I have a sporadically recurring thought "Who are these children and why are they calling me Mom?!"
I look around my home and there are definitely more than just two adults living here. Sticky fingerprints on everything, toys strewn about and the walls have a curious grimy film about 3 1/2 feet from the floor. The carpet on the stairs is matted down on just the fronts and have a strange blue tint to them from the short people that take the FunWayDown from upstairs in their jeans (bet you didn't know they slide the best).
I know that I am a mother ... of 4 very busy children, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I have insecurities and issues. Mostly about what other moms must think ... as I march up to the school to collect Abi from kindergarten in my capri sweats, dirty t-shirt and baseball cap - the exact same outfit I've was wearing when I dropped her off and oddly the same outfit I was wearing yesterday when I walked her to and from school. I feel like I'm still 18 ... young and hip and cute. Then I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window of my FilthyStinkin'RottenDirty minivan as I open it for Abi to climb in and pray that the other moms won't see the CrumbToyPaperCrayonMenagerie that's grown to nearly 6 inches deep AGAIN!! Wow... welcome to motherhood - I suddenly feel rather dejected and not so young or hip and very NOT cute.
But then I have a moment like when my littlest boy who is 8 months old doesn't want anybody to hold him but Mom, or when my 2 year old HolyTerror sees me come in the door and yells "MOM!" as he bee-lines to me for a little bit of Mommy lovin', or when my 5 year old takes my hand and tickles her neck with my fingernails and shrugs her shoulders for me to continue on my own, or when my 6 year old draws a picture of me and writes "I heart Mom" folds it over and writes "Frum Abi To Mom" and then brings it to me with a proud look on her face and waits for me to read it and then give her a hug and tell her "I heart you too".
Who cares what I look like or what I ate for breakfast (even if it was a handful of peanut butter M&Ms and a Carnation Instant Breakfast) I am a Mom and that's all I've ever wanted to be!
Are you having any moments? Please share!
11 years ago
