i've been counting down since last Dec 26 ... are you ready? me neither!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

learning about myself

after 31 (almost 32) years with a person, you think you'd know them pretty well ...

i recently realized - i am an instant-gratification-kinda-person. and it's not a good thing ... [i need to be is more like this.]

i was telling andy about it last night ...

it's the reason that i don't play the piano - i took lessons for six months, i wanted to just be able to sit down and play. i didn't want to practice!

it's also the reason i hate the laundry - it never stays DONE. there's always more to be washed, dried, folded, put away, washed, dried, ...

and why i don't keep my house organized - it takes too much time!

and why i love brushing my teeth - instant fix for bad breath.

and why my craft projects are so simple.

and why losing weight is so hard for me ... i want to exercise one time and see results.

and why i love the internet, email, instant messaging, cell phone ... i'd die without them. i have NO idea how i survived without a cell phone!

and why i don't have a garden - takes too long and too much work.

and why i take so long undecorating Christmas - putting it away is the opposite of 'gratification'.

and why there are only a few things i can cook - i never took the time to learn. (well that, and my people don't eat anything)

and why it took me YEARS to finish a Christmas quilt for my sister.

and why i don't/don't know how to make bread.

and why potty training is the bane of my existense.

and why i don't crochet [even though i know how ...] or knit [i tried to learn once - and still want to!].

and why i have only read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover 2 or 3 times.

and why i don't read books - that's a lie ... i read all the Harry Potter books. i don't get 'into' books like i used to - it takes too much time.

and why my driving record isn't stellar - i'm a little bit of a 'speeder' ... i got to get there NOW.

and why i go to the chiropractor - he cracks me and i feel better!

and why there are pretzels in a canister on my counter - instant easy snack!

and why i have a digital camera - i have to see how it looks right after i take it!

i could go on ... but i think you get the picture. i can think of only a handful of things that i've done that took me time and patience. 4 of which are my children - does pregnancy count? i want to be more patient and have some stick-to-it-iveness, i get frustrated quickly. i think i need to learn how to learn.

andy hugged me, "there's a lot of things you have done that took time ... "
"like what?"
"our kids ... "
"what else?"
"your scrapbooks ..."
"the scrapbooks that i am SO far behind on that i don't think i'll ever catch up?!"
"your blog ..."
"my blog doesn't take me time ... all i do is sit down and type what i think..." [that's something that took me time and practice ... i type pretty well.]
"um ... there has to be more ..."
"nice ... thanks for trying ..."

so, to those of you that know me: can you help me feel better about this bad habit i have developed?? can you add to andy's meager list?

and to all of you: how does one learn how to learn how to do things?!?

{and one more: it's also the reason that i love comments ... i feel instantly validated! - hint hint}

12 comments:

Whimsy said...

While I might not know you as well as Chip (and I will talk to him about this and make sure he comes back and lists some stuff - because he's known you for a LONG time) - I can add one thing to your list of things you do well that take time:

I know you're a great friend.

And before you go all - poo, poo, that doesn't take time, hear me out. Being a good friend takes TIME to cultivate. It takes TIME and EFFORT to reach out and let people know you care. You can't instantly become good at this, I promise you. It's just not possible. You have to cultivate it. Furthermore, you're friends with people from CHILDHOOD. This is another thing that takes time. I know a lot of people who let friends go after a few years, simply not investing in the relationship anymore because they're bored. Or people change. Or maybe they just aren't a good friend to begin with. You don't have this problem.

And if someone could only be good at one thing, I have to imagine that being a great friend - and keeping great friends - would be an EXCELLENT option.

Just my two cents!

Also - if you want to learn to knit, let me know. I can totally teach you. And you can teach me how to crochet. Because knitting it totally easier than crochet. I'm sure of it.

Whimsy said...

Meant to say knitting IS easier. Gah!

aliciadiane said...

I would agree that being a good friend is hard work and there is not always instant gradification (sp?) involved. Sometimes as a friend you see the results right away other times it takes a long while. While it was easy for us to become friends look over the last 9years or so,this friendship didn't happen over night.

Also, you becoming the woman you are was a gradual process. You should love the woman you are. Nobody is perfect, but there are a lot of great people in this world and you are one of them!

I know that it is so hard to look past the things in ones life that bothers them, but DO really see how much you have one and do daily.

I love you.

emily said...

whimsy: you're sweet ... and i appreciate it especially coming from a person who only really knows me through a friend (your husband) and the blogosphere!
- and i'd love to learn!
alicia: thank you for your words ... as per usual - you're right. the person i am took time and thanks for helping to shape me! i love you too!

Jennalee said...

well, I think that must be Chip's wife or something, and how rude that she got all totally poetic before the stumpy big sister put in her two cents :) and aliciadiane--I know that our relationship is one that is vicarious through my sister, but I shur love you too!!! great comments BOTH!

First, I do have to say (and we-em and i- decided this is a little on the opposite side of what we are suppose to be commenting about (or validating---how DO you change the "comment" title?) but nevertheless, must be noted) ah hem, that when I don't read and comment fast enough on my SUPER blogger sis's blogs--she calls me, and reads them TO me, probably for a little of that immediate gratification she requires. That said---I totally love it! and we laugh at each other and ourselves...and that's what is important!

As for the list of things that you do that have taken time...well for one, being able to know ones self well enough to come up with a list like you have is an amazing gift and takes PLENTY of time...some cannot see the forrest for the trees (as THEY say) in themselves and struggle socially for life because of it---the whole "there's a mote in your eye...here let me get it out even though I have a BEAM in my own"--I say if you can alert yourself to what you think are things you would like to improve upon you're half way there...even if you stay at half way for a period...you're still half way!

The piano you can take later in life--especiallly now that you know and appreciate the time it will take, one of my closest friends is a few years older than me and is taking lessons now :) AND I think that is something you can do in heaven...pretty sure of it :)

Laundry--well there's just no end of that, so I suggest singing while you do it, or dance or something, we could get you a voice recognition software packet that you could blog while you fold...might make it more enjoyable...another suggestion I've seriously thought about is "one-size-fits-all-gender-neutral-bodysuits" 10 of them, I can wear the cute things I want, but the others, well, they're just out of luck until they can launder for themselves!

I could go on, and you can clearly see that I am the "I'd like to try and fix your problem, with my meager and amusing (well to me amusing) antedotes but really I can't and don't want you to feel like I'm just trying to 'fix your problem for you'" type of person.

I will say that:
I benefit from your quick craft projects, because in this stage of life---really what little time we have it would be nice to FINISH something...so small time consumption is fine by me!

I know from experience, that your body will start to crave exercise and it won't be as difficult as the beginning!

I love that you love the internet and phone and so do I, because then it doesn't make the 2000 miles between us seem so far!!!

I have a totally easy AND healthy quick bread recipe that I will TEACH you WHILE I'M THERE THIS SUMMER! so you can check that one off soon...

And I know that I've said it a million times and I will keep saying it so that the years you spent creating it will some how be worth it...I LOVE MY TREE QUILT!!! don't ya'll wish you could see it! maybe I'll post it on MY blog...

Learning things is a life long process...even learning how to learn things...My fortune cookie from dinner tonight (because I don't cook that much either wink wink) said:

DO NOT GIVE UP; THE BEGINNING IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST...

I love ya! how is this for a semi-instant response? pretty long huh? perhaps I should have just blogged my answer on my blog...so I could get double duty here! oh well...ganbate!

emily said...

jennalerd: thank you for that 'sermon on the blog' {wink wink} i honestly appreciate it and feel VERY validated - to change the comments title click on template and then edit the blog block of your template ... if you need help, call me!
and for those of you that don't speak Japanese - ganbate means "Hold on," "Go for it," "Keep at it," or "Good Luck!" and "We're pulling for you!"

emily said...

i had to look it up - i'm in love with Google, if i could and wasn't already taken ... i'd marry it!

Nicki said...

I was thinking that VERY same thing. To me (selfish brat that I am) your best quality is that you are such a good, selfless, wonderful friend.

On another note, your devotion to choosing the right has not by any means been quick. You have a rock solid testimony that's been pruned and fed through many years of do-gooding.

I'm so glad you're my friend and sister. I loved this opportunity to remember why I love you so much. See you at the temple!

KatieKatie said...

I have to comment on this one!! I second, third and forth everyone's notions! I have to tell you that I love and admire you so much!

You can add me to your list...

Our friendship has taken time, love and patience to maintain... you could've easily let go (as many times as I've fallen off the planet!) and I'm very grateful that you haven't let go!

I check your blog on a daily basis because you warm my heart with your wit, your insight into motherhood, your genuine, unconditional love for the people in your life (I know this one from experience)and your courage to be so brutely honest about your life and your feelings. The wonderful qualities that make you 'you' didn't come overnight, by any stretch.

I am so blessed by your friendship and don't tell you that often enough. I don't talk to you often enough, period! You are an incredible woman, mother, friend, sister, daughter and you inspire me to be a better person!

I love you. :)

emily said...

nicki: thank you! and you're not a selfish brat! i'm so glad to count you as a friend too!
katiekatie: i had no idea that you read my blog so often! thanks! it's sometimes crazy that we've known each other as LONG as we have ... let alone been friends forever! i'm so blessed that you haven't written ME off! but it never ceases to amaze me that we just pick up where we left off! love ya!

iamjennycook said...

Em, if I had seen this sooner, I would have jumped to your corner sooner (sorry). It is easy to point out all of our imperfections - aka the things you see that you don't accomplish - but did you ever stop to realize that one of the reasons said things are not done, is simply because of the genuine spontaneity you posess so deeply inside. That is a talent cultivated and embraced and definitely does not come naturally to soooo many of us!! Your spontaneity is driven by your desire to serve others, brighten the world for all you encounter, and to create fun-filled days for your children. Those are all things that were developed over time and such a deep part of your character that is so loved and endearing to everyone around you!!! Developing character is the most important thing you can do and definitely does not happen overnight! You inspire me to have fun and remember what is important all the time!

Also, remember the season you are in and be kinder to yourself! There isn't a whole lot of validation floating around for the excellent smiley face lunches, the tasty uneaten dinners, the laundry expertly folded and put neatly back in the drawers, the bath time battles, the story books read, the dinosaur and barbi games played, (I could go on). Motherhood is an expecially thankless job that leaves us all feeling in need of appreciation some days - and those instant gratification moments are so desperately uplifting! That is why I go right for the comfort food! Embrace some of it, and the 'instant gratification" items that you want to change, well, pick one thing to work on at a time. You are a girl who likes to do it all. Cut yourself a break, you are fabulous and so so so loved, I hope you know it! Just look at all of these great comments!

I love you big em.

emily said...

jenny: thank you for your comment ... motherhood is certainly one of the more thankless jobs ... but one of the most rewarding! i am so thankful for friends that love me and for all the nice things people have said ... and i love you BIG too!
i'm definitely going to be working on some of these and finding things that i want to learn to do! thanks for your support!